Monday, February 14, 2005

Next On Fox; "When Art Attacks"!

..or "THE GATE OF HELL" invade Central Park!

This is a cautionary tale, not for the weak of heart. I was really drunk that year so forgive me if I don't recall all the details, but in 1991, while I was going to school here at Fresno State U., Christo unfurled his latest, greatest exhibit to date - The Umbrellas - in the south part of the San Joaquin Valley. While a Japanese tourist was taking some photos of the "majestic objects", one of the said umbrellas, that was apparently a BIG FAN of Sean Penn, decided to take out the photographer. The problem was, said umbrella didn't know its own strength and killed the hapless Japanese tourist. Christo had to remove the offending umbrellas, but, as far as I know, the rouge umbrella was never charged with any crime and is still at large. Anyway, I just want to warn those unsuspecting New Yorkers to be very weary and don't get too close to these "Gate" things ( I'm talkin' to you Corey and Olie ). You just don't know what kind of mood they're in!

PS. Some years after this incident, I was forming a new band and we couldn't decide on a name. The two we were going to use were either "Christo's Killer Umbrellas" or "Bobby Finster and the Tire Tracks", dedicated to the guy I ran over when I was 18. After much debate we finally settled on "Tribe Called Mike", because we were all named "Mike". Really!

(disclaimer - certain names have been changed to protect the indecent!)

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